Love is not the icing on the cake of life. It is a basic primary need, like oxygen or water. Once we understand and accept this, we can more easily get to the heart of relationship problems.
We use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples as well as individuals. EFT is tested and proven. It’s the gold standard when it comes to marriage/couples counseling. EFT came about in the 1980’s and is a blend of emotional awareness and attachment theory.
Human beings are created with attachment needs–meaning that we need our relationships. Research studies even show that humans will prioritize relational needs above food and water. Our relationships are everything. Because human beings have such significant relationship (attachment) needs, our emotions accompany threats to these needs.
EFT focuses on emotions as well as emotional regulation as primary issues in a person and their relationships. EFT believes that an emotional response signifies a person’s interpretation that there is a relational threat. EFT sessions focus on “in the moment” need for connection in order to identify and change relationship patterns in self and the couple.
An EFT therapist considers relationship patterns and works towards developing healthier beliefs about self and others, thus developing more regulated emotional responses and more accurate theories about self and the other person. EFT uses real, in-the-moment interactions that arise in session to teach partners how to regain their emotional and relational balance to increase trust and create a healthier relationship.
If you are experiencing communication issues in your marriage, frequently this can be an indicator that your relationship has had some injuries that, much like physical injuries, need to be treated and healed.
Your marriage doesn’t have to stay stuck. Start changing your marriage today.